I’m going to be honest with myself and anyone who reads this. Please remember not to judge me because that isn’t your place, but if you do, know that I don’t really care. Here’s the problem(s) I’ve encountered with Christianity:
I’ve been a Christian since I can remember. I did church, sunday school, bible camp, on-campus ministry, what-have-you. I did a lot of things that weren’t really me. I know that people say that God is molding me or whatever, but I honestly felt wrong every time I went to whatever the event was that day. I was being pressured to do things I didn’t want to do and things I felt extremely uncomfortable with. But they always managed to pull me in by guilting me with Jesus. “This is going to strengthen your relationship with God, it’ll be good for you.” “Just give it a chance. You might surprise yourself.” You know what really happened? I got mad at God. I got mad at the people in charge of whatever I was doing at the time. I acted like it was helping me, but it wasn’t.
I started to question everything that I had known for my whole life. Who decided that Jesus was the way to live? If every religion believes that theirs is right, how can we possibly know? Ask a Buddhist if they pray endlessly to reach Nirvana. Ask them how they live. Are they content? Yes. Are they certain they are right? Yes. Insert any religion you want into that scenario. Are they content? Yes. Are they certain they are right? Yes. So who decided that I had to believe the Christian view? Who decided we had to believe in anything at all? What if nothing is right? What if no one is right? Then what? You lived for nothing at all. Sure, it’s nice to have something to hope for, but isn’t life itself enough of a gift? Why do you have to wait to die before anything good can happen?
I just don’t want to live my life and deny myself the pleasures that I wouldn’t get to experience if I believed in the Christian view. What’s wrong with going out and having fun? “Christians have fun, too. It’s just not centered around drugs and drinking. We play Settlers of Catan and dodgeball.” *eye roll* Ya know what? I don’t really want to do drugs anyway. Wanna know why? Not because someone told me to, or that a book said I should honor my body. I don’t want to because there are better things for me to waste my money on, I guess. And it’s gross. Do I care if someone else wants to do that? Nope. It’s not my place. What’s wrong with messing around with guys? “Save yourself for your husband! Honor your body! You’ll lose a part of yourself! You don’t know what love is, much less love him!” No. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to mess around with guys and not feel guilty afterword. It’s fun, it feels good, and that doesn’t make me a whore. You don’t know how I feel about them, so how could you judge that? I’m not going to sleep around because STD’s and accidental pregnancy are a real thing, not because someone told me not to. I just shouldn’t have to justify myself every time I make a decision. If it feels good, do it.
“What is there to live for if you don’t have an eternal life?” There is so much to live for. Family, friends, pursuing happiness, travel, cats, dreams and goals. If that isn’t fulfilling enough, then I don’t know what is. I’ve always found “eternal life” selfish, which the bible says we shouldn’t be. You work so hard to convince people that Jesus is the way so that YOU can spend forever with him. “No, Bridget. You don’t understand. That’s what Jesus wants for us. God created us to live for him and with him.” Okay, but isn’t that selfish, too? It’s all about getting yourself to look more acceptable and presentable to someone who created you that way. Wouldn’t your time be better spent helping the needy, the poor, the disadvantaged?
Telling someone to have faith in something that they cannot fathom is almost silly. My pastor talked recently about finances and how God plays into that. How can I trust that God will provide the money I need? He said that we shouldn’t be afraid or reluctant to do things we can’t afford because God will provide. If I don’t have the money to buy a better house, how am I supposed to get a better house? If I don’t have money to get married right out of high school and be expected to raise a family before educating myself to earn enough money to do that, how can I trust that money will show up at my door? How can I say to my future husband, “No, honey. It’s okay that I don’t work ever because it’s your job to make the money and God will get us through even though its impossible to live on a single income anymore.”? It just isn’t realistic. And that’s only finances. There are other aspects of life, too.
Basically what I’m trying to get at is there is no guarantee that anyone is right. I find so much joy in things around me and life itself and I shouldn’t feel guilty for saying “the lake is so beautiful today” instead of “wow, this lake God made is so lovely, Good job, God.” But I do, and that’s just wrong.
I’m not even saying that I’m right in my opinion. I’m not saying that people should abandon religion, because religion has helped a lot of people overcome a lot of things. I’m saying that we need to evaluate the ways in which people address religion and it shouldn’t be a deal breaker when entering a friendship, a relationship, or whatever.
There are 7,259,379,356 people on this planet and rising rapidly. Every single one of those people has or will have a different opinion on everything. Who gets to decide who’s right? Not me. Not you. Not anyone. Everyone is entitled to a different world view and that’s okay. I just don’t want to be reprimanded for something that I don’t want to put my whole self into anymore.