Desires of my Heart

I just want to travel the world and explore all the beauty of the nations. I want to experience new cultures and new peoples. I want to see the light of God active across the planet, reaching those who don’t know the good news. I want to live out the Great Commission. I want to go and make disciples.

I don’t know why God has given me such a heart for children and the desire to raise them up with the knowledge they’ll need in life, but I know he has a plan.

When I picture my future life, I imagine a classroom filled with children with eager minds, laughing, enjoying the world around them. I see kids of all backgrounds, races, and personalities. I see individuals, not a classroom as a whole. The room is just the icing on the cake. And, by the way, it will be delicious icing. I’m talking posters on the walls, color everywhere, a library/reading nook in a corner, and perfectly organized and labeled items. But mostly, I see the kids. I see their imaginations on fire, their brains expanding with knowledge, and their lives being transformed. I can sense their differences, strengths, weaknesses, abilities, and desires. I want to teach them the life lessons that shape who they will become; acceptance, love, joy, forgiveness, selflessness, sharing, kindness, faith, patience.

If you haven’t picked up on it, I love kids. They are full of energy and are limitless.

When you are fully engulfed in God’s plans and truly have given him your heart, he will take out the earthy desires and put in new desires, the ones you were meant to have. These God-given desires are perfect and always further the kingdom of heaven. God has given me the desire to travel and explore the world. He has also given me the desire to care for children. I’m a nurturer. I want to help people who hurt and celebrate in their accomplishments. I have this passion to help kids in other countries, to teach them with love and teach in a way they will understand. God loves all his children, even the ones across the world.

I never considered being a missionary in a foreign land. I love children’s ministry and have been blessed to serve at a Bible camp as a counselor for that last few summers and mentor these children and teens along their walks with the Lord.

This might sound really dumb, but I don’t care. One time, many years ago, my maintenance team was digging out rocks in a field. We came across this rock and as we dug, it would not end. Like, we just kept digging and digging and digging. It was a boulder. So we dug around the whole rock and it was at least 7 feet long and nearly as wide. It was a big rock. Obviously, we weren’t going to be able to get it out with our shovels, so my supervisor got a bobcat thing with prongs on the end. I don’t know what it was called, my apologies. So he starts to try to lift it out and the back end of this machine rises off the ground. I mean, the rock was so heavy, it started to lift up the equipment. He tried all sorts of angles and the prongs are bending and stuff. And I say in my head, “If this rock comes out of the ground and makes it successfully to the rock pile over there, I will be a missionary.” Needless to say, the rock came out of the ground and made it to the rock pile. No one knew I said this and I never forgot it.

As I consider my life and the desires God has laid on my heart, I feel like I should be traveling the world, doing missions work and teaching children. I don’t know, though. It seems like I come up with something new every time I turn around. Well, no. I’m pretty set on teaching children, but I just don’t how that will be executed. Where will I go? How will I get there? Will I have a family? Will they come, too? Will I be there permanently? These are only a few questions that have been on my mind. And maybe it won’t be “missions work” necessarily. Maybe God is just calling me to go to another country and teach there. Everything is built on trust. And I will trust God in this, too.

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You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail. And there I find You in the mystery, in oceans deep my faith will stand. And I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves; when oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace for I am Yours and You are mine. Your grace abounds in deepest waters; Your sovereign hand will be my guide where feet may fail and fear surrounds me. You’ve never failed and You won’t start now. So, I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves; when oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace for I am Yours and You are mine. Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you may call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior. (Oceans, Hillsong United)

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One thought on “Desires of my Heart

  1. You just spoke my heart! I am overjoyed to see this fire in your heart. God has amazing things in store for you. If you ever want to talk about missions/teaching overseas let me know! I find it very encouraging to talk with people that feel called to similar areas.

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