Am I Content?

What does it look like to be content? How do I know if I am content? What does that word mean anyway? Webster’s dictionary defines “content” as being satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else. 

How do I know if I’m content? I’d like to think I’m content and I sure know that’s what an ideal world would be. But, if I’m going to be real with you, I’d say I’m not fully content right now. I’m not satisfied with who I am because I’m broken. I’ve felt insecure, sad, insignificant, and unworthy. I’m not satisfied with what I have. I always want something more, something better. I want to get new clothes all the time or get a new phone because mine is getting junky. Instead of realizing how blessed I am here, I consume my thoughts with things I want, not the things I need. I want more out of life than I have right now. I want to have a relationship with someone, I want to start life, I want something else from what God has given me right now. 

What does it look like to be content? I don’t know. I’m far from content. I don’t think anyone can be fully satisfied with worldly things. Even spiritual things can be difficult to be content with. 

Just the other day, I was talking to a few people and it was mentioned that we need to be content in the now and realize that God has us in this place or situation for a purpose, which is true. We can say we’re content, but in our hearts, are we? I needed to do a serious heart check with myself and God and face the fact that I’m not being fully satisfied with Him because things aren’t working out how I’d like them to. Yes, I’m here because God put me here and this is where I will be until that purpose is finished, but sometimes I hate it. Why me? Why now? Why here? Am I really okay with where my life is at right now? I don’t know.

This is one of my biggest weaknesses. I doubt whether or not I’m fulfilling God’s will. I’m not being content in Him and accepting life as it comes at me. No matter how big my problems seem, my God is bigger! I need to be satisfied with his love, mercy, compassion and plans.

God has called me to be here in this moment. It doesn’t matter that I’m not in a relationship because God has called me to be single right now, so that I can continue to find refuge in him and seek him first for love. He has given me the things that I have so that I can appreciate my family and this country that I was blessed to be born in and so that I can have compassion for others and a giving heart to respond to others’ needs before my own. 

When Paul writes to the Philippians, he says, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” 

I have had plenty and I have been in need. And when I was in need, God provided, as he always will. If I find myself in need of something, I know he will supply me. And that’s why I can be content in the LORD. After meditating on this passage and spending time in prayer and confession to God, I feel content. I can say with sincerity that I am content here, in my present situation. I am content with my life and who I am because I am a daughter of the King who is not moved by the world, for my God is with me and goes before me. I do not fear because I am his. 

Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

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